This is not so much about being in the studio this week. This summer, I’ve done something. I made a small step forward. I have built an inventory of handmade goods to sell at area artisan markets and shows.

Admittedly, I’m still finding my footing in all of this. I’ve been asked why I haven’t done certain shows, but I didn’t really think I’d be doing any. I sort of stepped into doing these on a whim, well not really on a whim. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. I’ve wanted to make steps toward living a creative life.

If I go way back to college, I remember watching art students walking to their building with portfolios as I was preparing to go sit with cadavers. I envied them, but like so many artists who are finding their way late, I didn’t believe in myself or in my abilities, though I’d doodled in the margins of my notebooks for years. I’d been copying my favorite illustrators, been drawing flowers and horses and more for years.

If I go back not quite as far, when I worked for a while as a newspaper reporter, I did whatever I could do to write stories about artists and craftspeople. I profiled illustrators, painters, sculptors, fiber artists, quilters, and more, and I envied them as I told their stories. I wanted to be them.

In recent years, as I taught writing classes, more than anyone should have to manage in a semester, I thought a lot about how I’d rather be painting or creating art, so in the midst of some difficult times, I just started painting. I started trying to find myself and my medium. I started in oils. Now, I’m just experimenting with a few different things, but ultimately, I realized I was always an illustrator. I’ve always loved illustration.

So, I’ve gathered all the things I’ve been doing lately and jumped into doing a few shows this summer, nothing too huge, except for the Longmont Artists Guild annual show. Since then, I’ve showed up. That’s what they say, don’t they? Half the battle is showing up.

I’ve showed up where I was able. I’ve started taking workshops. I’ve been experimenting with color and value and abstract design. I’ve been learning digital media to turn my work into prints. There is a lot of work to do. The shows are only a small part of that. It was just a kind of thing I jumped into to see if I could do it, and I can.

So, I’m showing up. Next week, I’ll focus on my studio and what I’ve been up to in there.